Sunday, February 03, 2013

All aboard the Tonteria Express - Choo Choo....



All aboard the Tonteria Express!  (which has a very naughty inspector by the way!...)

I’ve always maintained that week nights are the ultimate way to experience London town’s amazing nightlife and see it at its best.  On the weekends, yes you still get a great night out (if you know where to go..), but on a school night there’s always an awesome and eclectic mix of people – the out of towners here on business trips, the professionals who wanna let loose after a hard day at the office, the cool peeps who have nothing to get up for the next day…

Well Thursdays in the capital just got a whole lot cooler.  Last week we boarded the Tonteria Express (again) and after such a brilliant night, I thought it was about time I spread the word…

Tonteria reminds me of a night train I once got from Bangkok down to Surat Thani.  You board with the intention of having one of two drinks early on along with a bite to eat, but then once that train gets chugging, the carriages come to life, the tequila starts flowing and everybody just wants to party.  All night.

Now, calling all single ladies – the boys in here are hot.  Think Channing Tatum and Liam Hemsworth types… These boys know how to sink a tequila or three and you know you’re in trouble when they call for the tequila train (there actually is a tequila train by the way, which circles the ceiling, stopping off at the various tables who’ve put in their mid-week mash up requests – how cool, I know…)

The dance floor is small, and super intimate – kinda reminiscent of a New York underground club because from outside, you’d never know it was here.  There’s also a VIP area, but much better to get amongst it on the dancerfloor I reckon...

The theme obviously is Mexican – ‘Tonteria’ means insignificant or of little consequence… Yes there's nothing insignificant about this place.  You can pop in for early for tasty tapas - enchiladas, nachos and burritos served on dainty dishes, while sipping on the finest of margheritas (they have an exclusive margherita machine) and hang out in the hammocks.  But come 10pm, the hedonistic journey begins as the lights dim on the hand painted tiles, Mexican style plants and shabby chic interior.  If you’re a big fan of the music, you won’t be disappointed either -  the beats bang off every wall of this hidden cave.

Drinks choosing is always a bit of chore in here, but only cos their menu is so damn extensive.  Sharing cocktails are served from skull glasses and or go wild and sup up the Mayan Pyramid which serves 8-10 thirsty clubbers  and is a deadly combo of tequila and fruits…

So drinks, club, music, all awesome.  What else?  I’ll tell you what else – the team behind Tonteria are also pretty cool.  Albie is Marketing Exec – an old friend who I’ve known for years from the London clubbing circuit.  He sports a super cool Mohican (look out for him and say Hi) he always takes time out to chat no matter how busy he is.  My fabulous flamboyant friend Henry Conway has also started getting involved in Tonteria Thursdays - even more reason to get yourself down there mid-week if only to see which amazing ensemble he's chosen to wear for the evening!)

Perhaps more surprisingly, co-owner and nightclub entrepreneur Marc Burton (Whisky Mist, Mahiki) is also uber friendly.  He’s been there every night I’ve been there (...and I've been there....a lot.  Dedication or what?) Marc's a super busy guy who everyone wants a piece of, but he was more than happy to stop and chat about his hacienda haven.  Now, being a showbiz writer, I obviously wanted to hear all about the celebs as it’s quickly become a huge hangout of the A-listers, but as he explained, he wants everyone no matter who they are to feel comfortable, cool and relaxed hanging out at Tonteria and therefore no celeb secrets passed his lips.  So no scoop for me, but what a classic club mantra.  I love this place.  

Jump on board, but just be aware, you might not wanna get off….
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